Life through 5th grade eyes

I can't believe it, but my time as a student teacher is almost over. In a few short weeks, I'll be saying goodbye to my 75 fifth graders.

75 fifth graders who have stolen my heart. 

75 fifth graders who became "my kids".

75 fifth graders who kept me up at night. 

75 fifth graders who made me cry. 

75 fifth graders who made me laugh. 

75 fifth graders who made me mad.

75 fifth graders whose hugs I cherished.

75 fifth graders who I pray for. 

75 fifth graders who mocked my voice, my  hair, my handwriting, my clothes, and the way I sing.

75 fifth graders who told me I was their "best friend", "favorite teacher", "funniest teacher" and the "most beautiful person". 

75 fifth graders who cried when Zayn left One Direction, laughed when I sang High School Musical, danced to dividing fractions songs, and who lost and gained points. 

75 fifth graders who hated me and loved me. 

75 fifth graders who taught me how to be a teacher, a mother, and a friend. 

75 fifth graders who have gone through more than I'll ever go through.

75 fifth graders who didn't always eat breakfast, wash their hair, or do their homework.

75 fifth graders who cried because their friends were making fun of them.

75 fifth graders who think that saying "21" in an annoying voice is comedy gold. (it's from vine?)

75 fifth graders who love coming to school.

75 fifth graders who hate coming to school. 

75 fifth graders who got 100's on my tests...and 75 fifth graders who got 50's. 

75 fifth graders who told me their secrets. 

75 fifth graders who learned from me, even if it had nothing to do with school.

75 fifth graders who think Taylor Swift is the best singer and songwriter in the world. (me too). 

75 fifth graders who have never seen The Sound of Music, listened to the Beatles, or had a green smoothie before I recommended them.75 fifth graders who I can't imagine not knowing and not seeing every day. 

75 fifth graders who changed my entire life.

75 fifth graders who I am better because of. 

I love all 75 of you. You'll be with me forever. 

Dear "20 something" year old unmarried girls,

I am one of you and I don't know any more than any of you. But, I do want to talk about something. Something I know nothing about..marriage. I don't know about you guys, but it seems like every weekend I hold my breath. I hold my breath, and I wait. For who will be engaged this Saturday. For which new wedding hashtag I'll stalk for hours. For who #saidyestothedress. For who wore the wedding dress I PINNED ON PINTEREST TWO HOURS AGO. And for who married their best friend 2 months ago today.
But you know what?
I'm done.
It is awesome that these girls "found their soulmate". I truly hope that they did. It is awesome that they felt ready to be married at 21. I really hope they're loving it, and I can't wait till the girl doing all the posting is me. But I'm not going to envy it anymore. I can't. It has become an obsession. We all want the "ring before spring". In the halls of my school, I hear more girls talking about engagement rings than assignments. My pinterest board is flooded with wedding dresses, and every girls movie night involves a happy ending with an engagement or a wedding. This has to stop. Maybe not for you, but for me.

I'm not bitter. I have a boyfriend. I have friends. I love my major, and I have a great life. I have a job, I go out on the weekends, I make a killer smoothie...so why do I always feel like I'm doing something wrong? Like I'm always coming up short? It's just because I don't have a ring on my finger. And that, that's an issue.

You see when I get engaged, I don't want it to be because I was ready to be like all my friends. I don't want it to be because I had been begging my boyfriend for years to get me a ring because "all the other girls in the education department have one." I don't want it to be about me at all. I want it to be because I am crazy, over-the-moon, 100%, in love with someone. And because they are crazy, over-the-moon, 100% in love with me. So until this day comes, I'm not going to pay any attention to the weekend wedding craze. I'm not going to stare at my hand wishing for a ring. Instead, I'm going to enjoy my life because last time I checked, life was about so much more than finding a husband.

I'm going to eat a piece of chocolate cake, because I don't have to fit into a wedding dress any time soon. I'm going to go dancing with my friends, because I don't have a husband to go home to and they'll keep me laughing all night long. I'm going to watch lifetime movies and eat Ben & Jerrys with my mom, because there won't be many more years where this behavior is acceptable. I'm going to sleep in and enjoy waking up next to no one, and making my own cup of coffee, just the way I like it. I'm going to go out on the town and not worry about money for the night because I'm not trying to save up to buy "our dream house". I'm going to enjoy my life as an independent, 20-something. Because my life right now is amazing, just the way it is.

Care to join me? Let's go dancing.

xoxo Taylor

College

When I first got to college, I was so excited. I was ready to learn about being a teacher, ready to have all-nighters studying, ready to become a cute college girl. I was ready to meet my bridesmaids and have crazy *#*CoLLeGe*#* stories to tell my future kids. And you know what? I didn't. I have made some acquaintances, and some friends. But I haven't made best friends. I really haven't. I've spent college looking around aimlessly trying to connect with people. Aka I've been sitting in the back of the room on Tumblr, but whatever.

 I always pictured my college friends as these cool girls with amazing closets full of Free People that they'd let me borrow. I thought they'd have my taste in music and movies and that we'd stay up late talking about boys and books. I know this sounds stupid but it's what I thought. Instead I found friends I can go out with and not talk about anything, friends I can study with, and a few friends I can eat lunch with. There is nothing wrong with these girls. In fact, I love them like really. But I don't feel that "you're my sister and my best friend and I want to tell you everything about me and learn everything about you and we're gonna be friends forever" bond. Why is that? My only explanation is that I already found that.

 My two best friends since Elementary School, are still here for me today. I found that love in fourth grade. These girls are the type I can invite over to watch a show they hate, to do chores with me, or to listen to me vent. Which happens. A lot. They're the type of friends who send me pictures of clothes they're trying on, who ask my opinion on Chia seeds ("are you really pooping more?" "Are they like gross?") and whose lives I have watched happen. I remember when they each had their first heartbreak, when they *ahem* became a woman, who they liked in 7th grade, and the first band that they just adored. I didn't have to learn these things about them through long talks and "get to know you" games because I experienced them first hand. And how cool is that?

These girls are my best friends, and they're so much better than my dream college friends. They're real, they know me, they accept me, and they love me. I've never had to pretend for a second that I'm into dubstep or that I just LUV salad. Nah, they accept that listen almost exclusively to musicals and 90s alternative and they know that I order chicken fingers everywhere I go. They're a part of me a part of my story, a part of my heart.  They've shaped who I am and they've changed my entire life.

  So meet Amanda (on my left) and Brittany (on my right), my soulmates, bridesmaids, sisters, and best friends. If they're the only two I've got then I'm still luckier than most.

I'll be seeing you

    

                                                                               Well, it's been one week since I said goodbye to my best friend. I was prepared, I was ready, I had made my peace with it, but as soon as we started to drive away, I lost it. The thought of Ben being 4 hours away this year suddenly became real, and this week it's been my reality. When I'm busy, it's easy. It's almost like nothing's changed, but when I'm bored, sadness takes over. It's weird to think that we didn't have our annual first day of school breakfast, that we won't be going on dates, that he won't be here to rub my back when I've had a bad day, that I can't just see him whenever I want, and that he's really, truly not here. It's going to take some getting used to and some hard work, but I know we can do it. I know it because when we facetimed tonight (thank God for technology!!!) it was like nothing changed. We laughed, we teased, we told stories. I know we'll make it because my boyfriend may be four hours away, but he's still my best friend. He's still loving me, pursuing me, and making me laugh even if we're not in the same town. So long distance? Bring it on! 

Fashion

Here are some of my favorite of my fashion moments over the summer. I'm really trying to experiment more with clothes and wear what makes me happy versus what is "in". I sure did get a lot of wear out of my high-waisted shorts though!

Time flies!

Well, I started this blog 100% dedicated and ready to take it on. Then, life happened. I had a very busy summer, but as school is starting back and I'm looking for new ways to procrastinate, I've decided to give this blog another try. Here's a snippet of what you missed!

                                   Trip to DC// Ben's prom&graduation // Bonnaroo // Playing Logianne in The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee // getting my wisdom teeth out // leaving Ben in Charleston as he starts his freshman year at College of Charleston 

The sun'll come out tomorrow!

Last night I went to go see Annie at Robert Anderson Middle School with this cutie! Annie is one of my all time favorite shows, it takes me back to being a little girl when all I ever sang was "Maybe"...and yes I cried the whole way through. And laughed! I'm always reminded by middle schoolers how exciting shows can be and remembering how badly I wanted to live at the playhouse when I was in middle school. I'm kinda feeling that ache right now, it's been so long since I've been in a show. Here's hoping I'm in one soon! ;)

Anyway, it was so much fun to be reunited with my special Robert Anderson kids. They seriously stole my heart last year, and they've all grown up so much. This is Dalton, Ben and I pretty much claim him as our own. He played Rooster and was probably the cutest thing EVER. I felt like such a proud mama. 

And here's Annie! AKA Kelly Crittendon. Seriously, a Crittendon just means the show is gonna be fabulous.  They're Anderson theater royalty in my eyes. It helps that they're all polite, adorable, hilarious, and sweet to go along with their incredible talent. This little one has grown up so much since I met her. She was playing the Marta to my Liesl in The Sound of Music.

And here's a baby Crittendon, who calls Ben "his best friend" and had to remind me that Ben is graduating and leaving Anderson soon. Sigh.


"When I'm stuck with a day, that's gray, and lonely, I just stick up my chin, and grin, and say, The sun'll come out Tomorrow. So you gotta hang on till tomorrow, come what may" - Annie 





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